A Piece Of Alien Cake, Perhapes?

You walk into your home to find a couple you don’t know sitting in your living room, eating a slice of cake. Tell us what happens next.

-The Daily Post


At first-me being the freak I am- I was baffled for a few seconds, then, scared.

Why would anyone break into a house to eat cake, which they brought with them. I thought. I didn’t bake no cake.

“Oh you’re here!” The woman of the two said. Her voice similar to that of a Chihuahua’s bark.

“We’ve been expecting you.” The man said. Even though he sounded calm, he couldn’t hide the dumb smile on his face.

“Of course you were! It’s my home!” I said. “Who are you, and  what are you doing here?”

“Well. We’re-”  The woman started but I cut her off.

“No! Don’t answer.” What was I doing conversing with breakers and enter-ers. “I’m calling the cops.”

I pulled my Nokia out of my back pocket and dialed three numbers. A woman with a soft and soothing voice picked up:

Cop: What’s your emergency?

Me: Yeah, I want to report a breaking and enteri-AHHH

I howled as a buzzing sound ripped my ear up from inside. I dropped my phone to the ground.

“I didn’t want to have to do that.” The woman said.

“Yeah, we are here for a civilized conversation.” The man added.

“I”m not conversing with a couple of maniacs!” I yelled, rubbing my still buzzing ear. “Get. Out. Of. My. House!

“We have been watching you.” The woman said.

GO TO HELL!” I grabbed the vase on the little table next to the door and threw it at the woman, especially her to get back at her.

The woman punched the vase in mid-air and it shattered. Scattering bits of glass all over the floor.
I immediately took a run to the bedroom, jumping across the room to the stairs, and up the stairs.

Once I was in the room, I shut the door and locked it. I walked on all fours across the queen bed my mom bought me as a Moving-Out-Present. I grabbed the telephone from the bedside table, I put it to my ear. Dead silence. They cut the power off the phones.

“Son of a-” I stopped. I rolled of the bed, fell to the floor-unintentionally-and banged my arm, I crawled in panic to the door and put my ear to it. I could them talking, in some weird tongue I’ve never heard before.

Suddenly, An arm went through the door, I froze, every molecule of mine was shaking. The hand grabbed the door knob and turned it, it clicked, and the door opened. I crawled on my butt to the bed, grabbed the lamp off the bedside table. And waited.

The same man from outside, came in, and the woman followed. I braced myself.

“I don’t why all humans think these glass things would kill people.” The man said. And he grabbed the lamp, I waited for him to smash it on my face. But he simply put it back on the bedside table. Just like that.

“Just relax human.” The woman said. “We’re not going to hurt you.”

Dis she just call me human. Weird. But if they really wanted to hurt me, they’d have done it by now. Or maybe their the type of freaks who like to watch their victims squirm first.

“Just get out of my house.” I said. Rather weakly. Hiding my face with my hands. I held back tears that stung my eyes.

“We wanted to tell you that you are an exceptional human specimen.” The woman said.

“What? Are you crazy, do you think this is funny!” I screamed. “Just take my money and kill me and GO!”

“Listen, we don’t want to kill you and we most certainly don’t want your money!” The man said. A disgusted look was on his face when he said so. As if I’d insulted him by saying he wanted to kill me “We are from Rizemas a planet on the outskirts of the Milky Way.”

“Yah, and I’m Queen Latifa!” I couldn’t suppress my urge to be sarcastic.

“No you’re Evan Stone. A journalist and you  are 23 years old, you have a cat who’s outside right now.” The woman said Matter-Of-Factly.

“How do you know this shit?” I asked. Horrified.

“We’ve finally succeeded in creating a spaceship that can go all the way to the Sun, one of the hearts of The Milky Way galaxy, fifty years ago. And we studied the planets in it’s system.

“And of the lot, your planet was the most interesting. So we were sent to follow Humans and study them.

“There about twenty others like us. But we’ve been watching you for years and we thought you were one to take this in a more open-minded way. But obviously, we were wrong. Now we will have to erase your memory of us.

“Good bye Mr. Stone and we wish you the best of luck.”

I was really tongue-tied and I didn’t know if I should believe them. But the man er…alien got a weird apparatus from the inside of his arm and stuck it in my ear. I tried to scream but I couldn’t. And every thing went black, I opened my eyes and blurry figures of two violet colored people were talking and then one said something and they shone then disappeared.

I woke up in early morning, got down to my kitchen and drank a cup of coffee, and went to the newspaper.

I forgot.


3 thoughts on “A Piece Of Alien Cake, Perhapes?

Please, give it to me my darlings.

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